inphiltrate: dreams

I decided on Friday night that it would be futile (and tiring) to continue this over the weekend, so while this may not be how I feel every weekend, it was how I felt this weekend.

I somewhat tried the WILD method again last night.  Of course, it didn’t work, but I realized something.  It’s a lot easier to not move if I let my mind wander, but at the same time, that’s how you fall asleep.  At one point, I felt my toe twitch and I woke up out of a half sleeping state.  It’s really very interesting how all of this works.

Anywho, at that point, I was done trying for the night since I’d apparently moved.  I’ve read that it’s easier to use the WILD method after waking up in the middle of the night, and it’s extremely hard to do it from being wide awake.  I’m not sure if I’ll try it that way, but it’s a thought.

As far as dreams go, I can’t remember any, and I haven’t been able to over the weekend either.  This is a shame, as it’s one of the most important things I need to get under control.

Interestingly enough, on my way to work after recording the events of day 2, I remembered something else from my dreams. I’m not sure if it was a different dream or part of another dream, but I remember having a dream conversation with my parents about buying new tires for my car and how this would hinder me from being able to buy a house.

If that was a different dream, then that would officially be the most dreams I can recall having in one night (3), even though I can’t recall a whole lot of what was happening besides those individual events.

Anyway, on Day 3, I got really close to inducing sleep paralysis.  However, as I felt the wave starting to come over me, my heart starting beating really fast, and I think that brought me out of it.  I was probably lying there for 45 minutes to an hour before I finally gave up and had to move.  It was really weird moving after all of that, but at that point, the discomfort was becoming a major focal point in my mind, which wasn’t helping.

I don’t know why I keep having these dreams that I only remember little fragments from, because usually I remember a bit more from dreams than this, but the good news is that I’m remembering actually having dreams three nights in a row.  From last night, I can recall one thing each from two dreams.  In the first, I recall throwing my car into reverse and accelerating backwards as fast as I could to outrun an explosion, and the explosion ended up throwing a bunch of glass all over the place, which I ran over.  In the other dream, I remember grocery shopping and throwing a baseball with someone.  I’m not sure if this is the same dream as one of the above or a different one, but I also recall going to Subway with my mom and getting some weird sandwich on “pesto” bread (you know, cause Subway names their bread).

Now that I’m writing these vague fragments of dream memories down, I honestly can’t remember what goes where.  It felt like I had memories from two dreams, but maybe it was three.  I wonder if this happens a lot, but I don’t notice because I never analyze it?

Anyway, since I was awake so long last night trying to induce sleep paralysis, I’m pretty tired this morning, so I don’t know if I’ll be trying that tonight.

I spent most of day two with the letter ‘A’ written on my left wrist (‘A’ for Asleep?/Awake?).  Every time I saw it, I performed a reality check, which is something as simple as counting the fingers on your hand or glancing at some text or a digital clock, and then glancing back to see if it’s the same thing.  These are things that, once conditioned, will hopefully carry over into dreams and can aid in a dream-initiated lucid dream (DILD).

However, I was somewhat tired last night, so inducing sleep paralysis didn’t go as well as it did on Day 1.  The urge to swallow is the absolute worst thing to try to ignore.  I can ignore an itch or almost anything else no problem; I can lay completely still no problem, but I don’t know how to overcome the feeling that I absolutely have to swallow.

I may have failed in WILD, but I did wake up a few random times last night, and I distinctly remember counting the fingers on my hand before going back to sleep, so that’s at least something.  As far as dreams go, I can remember one thing about one dream – I watched Lost with Adam – and one thing about another dream – it was something to do with This Week in Tech, which is a podcast I listen to, hosted by Leo Laporte.

First of all, let me preface this by saying that the concept of forcing sleep paralysis scares the absolute and utter shit out of me. I tried it anyway last night, as it is a vital step in inducing one type of lucid dream (WILD – Wake-Initiated Lucid Dream), the entire time telling myself “remember these dreams, they’re important, don’t throw them away,” and “there is no one in this room but myself.” The first part should be obvious, but the second little mantra was just in case the sleep paralysis worked. Apparently, while experimenting with either type of lucid dreaming (wake-initiated or dream-initiated), it is very common to induce sleep paralysis, which is when your body falls asleep before your mind; exactly the opposite of what normally happens. Usually your body will test if your mind is asleep by trying to get you to move, and if you fight the urge to move, you can trick your body into inducing sleep paralysis while your mind is still awake. Of course, lying absolutely still in bed until this works is very, very hard; the urge to move is quite strong. Anyway, during sleep paralysis, people will often be convinced there is someone else in the room, but they can’t move or react to it because of the paralysis. I hear it’s quite terrifying, but I also believe this is more associated with when you become lucid in a dream and your mind wakes up before your body, not when you force the sleep paralysis before you ever fall asleep.

Anyway, I definitely had at least two dreams last night, the contents of which I can’t really remember, except that, strangely enough, I know that one of them was about dreaming, which is pretty good proof that this is possible. I went to bed thinking about nothing but dreaming and not moving, and I had a dream about dreaming. Sounds like this can work.